Broken Promises & Past Mistakes
by IndianSummer
Summary: A college basketball game on Brooke's campus leads Lucas to a realization and life he never expected. Future fic, BrookeLucas.
1. Only Chance At Happiness

**Title: **Broken Promises & Past Mistakes  
**Author:** Summer  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing: **Brooke/Lucas  
**Summary:** A college basketball game on Brooke's campus leads Lucas to realizations and a fate he never expected.  
**Disclaimer:** If I had any ownership or influence over this show and its characters, do you _really_ think season 4 would've happened this way?  
**Note:** Usually I'm not the kind of person to request reviews, but in this case they'll help me decide whether to keep this as a one shot or turn it into a continuing story. So if you like it and want me to continue, please review and let me know!

* * *

The roar of the crowd is almost deafening, the excitement tantamount. It's an unlikely matchup of the Final Four, and everyone in the southern Californian university gym obviously understands the historical significance of the moment. 

Lucas Scott collapses onto the visiting team's bench, his gaze slipping over to the UC cheerleaders, unbidden. He'd been trying to avoid looking all night, but every few minutes he finds his gaze on them, searching for the familiar dark hair and dimples of his old high school girlfriend.

She isn't there. He isn't sure how long ago he'd realized that, probably within the first twenty minutes of the game, but it hasn't stopped him from looking. Even though he knows it's illogical, he keeps searching the squad for Brooke Davis' smile, that exuberant energy unparalleled by anyone he'd ever met.

It doesn't make sense to him. Throughout high school, cheerleading had been her _life_, and he can't imagine that changing so quickly. At least he thought it had been her life.

He frowns, threading his fingers together and staring down at his knees as he considers. How well _does_ he know Brooke Davis? How well had he ever known her, really? He likes to think he knew her like the back of his hand, that there isn't anything he didn't know about her.

It makes him feel better about what happened, makes him able to _deal_ with it.

* * *

_There was a soft knock on his door, and he could almost sense the hesitancy behind it. He turned to look, expecting Peyton. They'd broken up earlier that day and he had felt her devastation, but there was nothing he could do about it._

_He couldn't keep living a lie, couldn't keep pretending everything was okay. He understood what Brooke had meant all those months ago, now, when she'd told him she felt like she'd only stayed in their relationship to make him happy and hurt less._

_He'd been doing that with Peyton, all along. It had just taken him far too long to realize it. "Come in," he called after another minute had passed when the door didn't open on its own, trying to figure out what he'd say to her._

_The door slipped open slowly, creaking a little on its hinges. "Hi," was all she said._

_Unable to form words, he just stared at her for a long minute. "H- hi," he stuttered as his gaze swept over her body. He hadn't expected Brooke to show up at his door, not after everything they'd been through._

_She forced a small smile that didn't reach the corner of her lips and held her hand up in a wave-like gesture. "Um, I just figured I'd come say goodbye. I'm leaving tomorrow."_

_His gaze searched her face for any signs of a deeper meaning, for any signs of __**hope**__ for them. It was strange how much you could grow up in just a few months. He remembered agreeing with her as she'd said their love wasn't like the one Whitey had described, feeling confused in that moment and not having the words to express his doubts._

_Now he knew. "Hey, Brooke?" he spoke softly, knowing the words wouldn't change anything but aware he had to let her know, anyway. "No two loves are the same."_

_Her smile was more genuine this time, but he could sense the sadness behind it. "I know." She glanced down at the ground, gulping. "Anyway, I just wanted to come say goodbye and wish you luck in school. And- and a good life."_

_There was more finality in those words than he knew how to address. It hadn't occurred to him that this could truly be __**it**__, that he'd never see her again. "I want you to have a good life, too, Brooke Davis," he managed, gesturing for her to come closer._

_He could sense the hesitation in her steps, could tell she didn't really __**want**__ to be this close to him. "I have something for you," she said after a minute, sitting down on the edge of his bed and giving him one of her quirky smiles that he knew he'd always associate with her. No one else smiled the way Brooke Davis did._

_Nodding slightly, he glanced at the calendar on his desk out of the corner of his eye. "August 2__nd__? I thought only I was leaving at the beginning of August."_

_She shrugged, pulling a small manila folder out from under her coat and handing it to him gingerly. "UC Irvine wants all their cheerleaders in tip top shape and to know the cheers by the time classes start, so…"_

_He didn't reply, not having any words to do so. Why was it always with __**her**__, when he was desperate to find the words, that he never could? Taking the envelope from her in silence, he unhooked the clasp holding it closed and pulled its contents out one by one._

"_Oh, Brooke, you shouldn't- these are for you." He tried to push the letters back into her hands but she shook her head._

"_I don't exactly have a use for them, Luke, and you're the one who admires good writing so much. It just… it makes sense this way."_

_He sighed, reaching down and pulling the box of letters she'd written for him out from under his bed without thinking about it, adding the ones he'd written to it._

_When he glanced back up at her, her eyes were glistening. "I didn't think you'd kept them," she murmured, searching his gaze. "So, uh, you really are a packrat, huh?" she tried to joke, but it fell flat._

_Just shrugging, he studied her face, not taking his eyes off her as he reached into the drawer he kept the box with his heart medicine in, fumbling around in it until his fingers came in contact with something soft._

"_I guess you could say that," he admitted with a shrug, grabbing the feather gently and holding it out in front of her so she could see it._

"_Is that from my-" She broke off, finishing her question with her eyes as they searched his._

_Confirming her suspicions with a small nod, he gave her a sad smile, reaching up and tucking the feather behind her ear. _

_Her gaze was electric as she stared into his eyes, leaning forward and pulling him into a hug. "I love you, Lucas Scott," she murmured as she kissed him on his cheek._

_He nodded, finishing the sentiment they shared in his head. __**'**__And I probably always will.'_

* * *

He's torn from the memory as he feels someone's gaze burning into the back of his head and he doesn't need to turn around to know who it is. 

"Brooke," he whispers quietly, glancing down the bench to see if anyone's paying attention to him before he excuses himself with some vague remark about needing a drink. It doesn't really occur to him that he left his almost full water bottle behind on the bench.

As soon as he breaks free of the crowd in the gym, he can see the back of her head, walking away as quickly as she can manage through the throngs of people listening in at the door and in the parking lot.

"_Brooke!_" he calls out, even though he's well aware that it was him she was running from. It's too late to go back, to erase what happened in high school.

It doesn't mean he doesn't want to try.

"_BROOKE!"_ he shouts again, this time loud and frantic enough to turn a few heads. He searches around frantically, unable to see her anymore. He's lost her too many times in the past, and they've never had any closure.

He thinks at the very least, they deserve that. "_Brooke!"_

Then there's a girl standing next to him, her hair so dark it's almost blue. It's pulled back in pig tails and curled at the ends, blue and gold ribbons holding it back. Her blue and gold uniform identifies her as an Irvine cheerleader, and before he has a chance to ask her about Brooke she speaks up. "So… Lucas, right?" she asks dryly, hands on her hips.

He stares at her for a minute, too surprised she knows who he is to form words.

With a roll of her eyes, she explains, "Doesn't take a genius to realize that a guy from North Carolina shouting for Brooke Davis in the middle of a game could only be him. Lucas."

He just shakes his head, more concerned with finding Brooke than listening to this girl tell him how smart she is. "Do you know where she is?"

She studies him for a minute, her eyes narrowed to little slits and it's clear that Brooke's at least told this girl some of their background. "Yeah," she says after a long minute, "But you can't tell her it's _me_ who helped track you down."

"I don't even know your name," Lucas points out quickly, bouncing from one heel to the other in anticipation. "So? Where is she?"

The girl purses her lips and gestures beyond the parking lot. "If I had to guess, over there. If not… her dorm's the first one on the left, room number 283."

He doesn't bother to thank her, instead rushing off in the direction she'd gestured in. He can barely make out a small field with benches, but he's running toward it regardless.

"_Brooke!"_ he shouts as he reaches it, glancing around wildly as he looks for her. His gaze falls on her figure and he freezes where he stands, suddenly not having a clue how to approach her.

* * *

_She pulled out of their hug slowly, a smile playing on the corner of her lips. "So maybe I will miss you after all," she joked, but he could tell her heart wasn't in it._

"_I know I'll miss you… Pretty Girl," he responded honestly, running his fingers through her hair as he adjusted the feather to make sure it won't fall out._

_She gulped, her eyes fluttering closed for a brief instant as she let herself get lost in his touch. "Yeah…"_

_There's something too final about this moment, something he can't handle. "So… I'll be seeing you?" he asked as she opened her eyes, his gaze searching hers. It was something he'd said to Peyton once upon a time, yet another mistake he'd made with Brooke._

_Taking a deep breath, she nodded, starting to stand up. "Yeah… I guess so."_

_Impulsively, he reached out, laying his hand over her wrist. "I'm serious," he murmured, his eyes almost desperate as he looked at her. "I know I put you through a lot, Brooke, and I know I don't deserve you as a friend, but-"_

_His words were cut off as she pressed her lips against his in a chaste kiss. It only lasted a second or two, but it was enough to shock both of them._

"_Lucas-" she started, and her voice sounded almost whiny with confusion._

_He just nodded in response, letting his hand fall from her hair to her cheek, guiding her face back to his in another kiss._

_It was too soon to say goodbye, especially if there was a chance it would be forever. "I love you, and I probably always will," he voiced aloud this time, repeating the words she'd said to him months earlier._

_She didn't respond, not immediately returning the kiss, but it was clear he'd affected her all the same since he could feel the fat, hot tear slipping down her cheek._

_Or at least he thought it was her cheek, but now he wasn't so sure. He pulled away slightly, and sure enough, they were both crying. "Brooke-" he spoke softly, not having the words to follow her name. He never did have the words with her when he needed them, after all._

_She whimpered, pressing her lips against his again, this kiss desperate and intense where the other had been soft and chaste. _

_He sighed, wrapping his arm around the small of her back and pulling her closer, not wanting the kiss to end. _

_When she finally pulled away, it was only to catch her breath, though, and then her lips were against his again. Their lips worked together fervently, their hands moving over each other's bodies in an attempt to burn the details into their minds. _

_And when he pushed her back against the bed and started to unbutton her shirt, it wasn't a moan of protest he heard._

* * *

"I'm sorry," he speaks quietly as he approaches her, not having any other words. It's like he's back in high school all over again, reliving their breakup a year earlier. And it's almost exactly a year, only a few days more. 

Brooke turns slowly, giving him a full view of her body, of her swollen belly, and smiles sadly. "I know."

Lucas gulps, not sure what to say or how to act. This certainly wasn't what he was expecting to find when he caught up with her. Then again, he isn't sure what he was expecting, if it was anything at all.

She solves his problem, though, shrugging weakly. "You don't have to say anything." She rests a hand against her belly, searching his gaze.

"How-" His words break off as he tries to find the right way to ask. "Was it… us? Was it last August?"

She cocks her head to the side, studying him. "It was me," she responds vaguely, glancing over his shoulder. "And a sperm donor."

He winces at the words because he's pretty sure he's that sperm donor, and suddenly it all makes sense. She never had returned his calls, even though she had promised she would when they awoke the next morning. "Brooke…" His voice is apologetic, but he still can't find the words.

She lets out a dry laugh, studying him. "Lucas… we never can get past this part of the conversation, can we?"

He just shrugs, knowing she's right. But he doesn't think there _are_ words for this scenario, a way to make it all better or to even make it _right._ "If I'd known…"

"That's why I didn't tell you, Luke," she cuts him off, giving him a weak shrug. "It's a never ending circle with us, and pulling you back in is sure to end badly. You have this complex where you feel like you have to save people, and I don't need saving, Luke. I'm managing. I'm happy. I'm-"

"Pregnant with my child," he interrupts, sighing. Running his hands through his hair, he doesn't have the words. "I don't know what to say, Brooke."

She raises an eyebrow and shakes her head slightly. "You never do, Luke," she points out, turning on her heel and walking away.

Lucas watches her walk away in shock, sitting down on the nearest bench since he feels like his legs are going to give out on him at any minute, and feels the world crashing in around him. And suddenly, he knows the very last thing he needs with Brooke Davis is _closure._

He needs a life with her, and he's petrified it's too late to have that.


	2. An Hourglass Glued to the Table

**Chapter Two**

**Author's Note:** I have to say I was very impressed by the number of responses I got to this fic. There's nothing quite like knowing a lot of people are reading and enjoying your story to make you want to continue with it. So I've decided that's what I'll do, but I wanted to address some of the questions I got first. If you don't see your question addressed, I'm sorry! I'm not ignoring you- the site's being really weird and I'm not getting all my reviews and I can't see all the ones I do have. There's no email alert thing working for that, either.

I received an anonymous review asking for clarification on whether Brooke or Lucas went to the same school. Brooke went to University of California: Irvine whereas Lucas stayed in North Carolina. It will be explained more in upcoming chapters, but the reason Lucas is in Irvine is because his basketball team was matched up against Brooke's during March Madness.

Little Miss Sunshine… I can't spoil the whole story for you now, can I? But in all seriousness, read the Author's Note for chapter one and you'll see we definitely agree about season 4, if that gives you a hint.

Joan. Joan, Joan, Joan. Sigh. You're totally right, but as I told you last night and I should tell others, I'm making a point of staying beyond where I uploaded. For instance, I have the first 21 chapters written for "Two Thousand Times A Day" so far, even though I've only uploaded 9. I plan to do the same with this.

Jalaye, I definitely plan to keep Lucas and Brooke in character! I've never seen the point in writing a fanfic where the characters are nothing like they are and just have the same name and physical description. There may be a little baking cookies later, but it certainly won't be in a Suzy Homemaker way.

Lynn, thanks a lot for reviewing! Hopefully that weird problem is solved now since I can see your review. The lines you quoted are interesting in the theme of the whole story because a big part of it is going to revolve around that- even if Lucas can convince Brooke to at least let him stick around and be part of the baby's life, he'll carry a lot of guilt for not having been there the past eight months.

* * *

**September 5, 2007**

It was almost 7:00 in the evening and Brooke Davis was laying in bed, cuddled up under her blankets. She'd always been a curious person, so being sick hit her extra hard because she liked to know what was going on around her.

"We missed you in practice today!" she heard an all too perky and all too loud voice as her bedroom door sprang open. "Are you feeling any better?"

Brooke lifted her head slightly to look at her roommate, crinkling her nose. "Not really," she admitted after a minute, hoping the other girl could tell by her tone that quiet was greatly appreciated. "I felt a little better for a while, and then I tried eating…"

Clementine made a face at her, skipping across the room and laying a hand on Brooke's forehead. "Well, you don't feel hot," she pointed out with a concerned look. "I hope you're not contagious, babe, because the squad's already down three people between you and Khrissy and Danielle randomly leaving for the week."

"Thanks for the concern," Brooke muttered dryly, glancing up at Clementine. "Would you mind getting me a water bottle?"

Clementine shook her head with just a little too much energy, her blue-black ponytail swinging from side to side. "No problem!" she announced as she scurried over to their mini-fridge.

Brooke sighed, closing her eyes for a second as she tried to ignore the nausea building up in her stomach. She and Clementine had been immediate friends, getting along a lot better than she'd expected. The morning she'd walked into her dorm room with all her luggage, Clementine had been sitting at her desk, dressed like a librarian and reading Nietzsche through her bifocals..

Then she'd burst out laughing when she'd seen Brooke's face and pulled the glasses off, telling Brooke she had her going for a minute. And she certainly had. Clementine was a good student, but far from the dork she'd decided to portray to freak out her new roommate. She never seemed to be studying or doing homework, and when Brooke had asked how she managed to do so well, Clementine had attributed it to her eidetic memory.

Before Brooke had any time to think any further on her roommate, Clementine had bounced her way back over to Brooke's bed and gingerly handed her a water bottle. "So… I was going to ask you if you wanted to go out tonight since there's this new club opening, but I'm thinking you're a no?"

Brooke crinkled up her nose at the idea of going somewhere packed with sweaty people and throbbing music. "Uh, yeah, I think I'll pass tonight. Sorry, Clementine."

Clementine just shrugged, narrowing her eyes as she studied Brooke. "Alright… but you really should try to eat today. I picked you up some crackers-"

"Yes, Mommy," Brooke interrupted with a teasing smile, not even wanting to think about eating at the moment.

"Mommy… hah," Clementine repeated with a roll of her eyes, growing pensive after a minute. "You know, it's kind of funny that you say that, because I was thinking earlier that all your symptoms remind me of when I was pregnant. If I didn't know better-"

"Wait, you were pregnant?" Brooke interrupted in shock, forcing herself into a sitting position and staring at Clementine through wide eyes. "When?"

Waving a hand in front of Brooke's face as if to push away Brooke's question, Clementine continued, "We aren't talking about _me_ right now, Brooke. We're talking about you. And I was sixteen." She heaved a sigh, giving Brooke a small shrug. "But like I was saying, I know better… I mean, you said you dated some virgin all year, right?"

"Born again, but-"

"Whatever," Clementine rolled her eyes. "He's still lame. Point is, if you weren't having sex, you couldn't be knocked up, right?"

"Actually…" Brooke trailed off, pursing her lips as she thought about the night she'd gone to say goodbye to Lucas about a month ago.

Clementine giggled, rolling her eyes. "_God_, did they teach you anything in that high school, Brooke? I know it's the South, but this is just ridiculous. You can't get pregnant from giving a blowjob, regardless of how good it was!"

Rolling her eyes, Brooke locked gazes with her roommate, taking a deep breath. "Clem-" She broke off with a gulp, gesturing for her to sit down on the corner of her bed. "I- I think I should tell you something."

* * *

. 

"Shh! Shh, calm down, it's probably just a false alarm," Clementine insisted, tiptoeing through the drug store with Brooke regardless of how "convinced" she was they were just being silly.

Brooke whimpered, glancing nervously around to make sure there wasn't anyone who knew them in the store before slipping into the aisle with pregnancy tests. "Yeah, but what if it's _not_, Clem? What am I going to do then?"

Clementine took a deep breath, studying her friend seriously. "Then we figure out what to do _then_, alright? We don't jump ahead and start worrying before you know anything." Sensing Brooke's hesitation, she rolled her eyes. "I'll go get the test; you stay here."

Giving her a grateful half-smile that didn't reach her eyes, Brooke nodded. "Could you pick up a few? Just so I can test a few times-"

"Yeah, of course," Clementine assured her, glancing around before darting the rest of the way down the aisle and returning a minute later with five different pregnancy tests in her hands. "I don't know if any kind's more accurate than the other, so I figured we could get a bunch of different kinds," she explained.

Brooke gulped, staring down at the tests. "Alright."

Studying her for a minute, Clementine sighed. "I'm gonna stay in with you tonight so you can't go crazy on your own, alright? And then tomorrow… if you want me to I'll be there when you take the test."

"That sounds good," Brooke murmured softly, letting Clementine wrap an arm around her back and lead her toward the counter at the front of the store with a sigh.

Clementine squeezed her side reassuringly, giving Brooke a coy pout. "See, this is why you don't sleep with exes," she teased with a giggle, earning a weak slap from Brooke.

"Not funny," she muttered with a pout as they stood in line at the counter.

Glancing at Brooke out of the corner of her eye, Clementine frowned. "I know."

* * *

. 

"Alright, Brooke, if there's two lines, you're pregnant," Clementine instructed through the bathroom door, flipping through the manual that had come with one of the tests.

"Uh… alright, what about with the Clearblue?" Brooke asked, her voice obviously strained.

Clementine reached out for the box in question before pausing, cocking her head to the side and staring at the bathroom door. "Brooke?" she asked hesitantly, wetting her lips before continuing. "How many lines is there, babe?"

There was a pause that lasted just a little too long and Clementine knew the answer before Brooke spoke. "Two," came the soft reply.

Swearing under her breath, Clementine set the instructions down, glancing down at her feet as she tried to figure out a way to comfort Brooke. "Babe… that was the third test you got a positive result on," she pointed out after a long minute had passed, taking a deep breath. "Stop doing this to yourself. Lets just… let's get you to the doctor and have it confirmed. There's such a thing as a false positive, after all."

"It says right on the boxes that that's rare, Clem!" Brooke snapped, and Clementine couldn't really blame her. She doubted she'd be much sweeter if she were in Brooke's situation.

Clementine sighed, resting a hand against the door. "Come on out, Brooke. Sitting in the bathroom all day isn't going to change things, you know? You're going to drive yourself crazy if you don't go talk to the doctor."

The door opened slowly and Clementine's heart broke as she saw Brooke's tear-stained face. "The doctor's just going to talk to me about my choices, and I don't know, Clem. I don't know what to do."

Clementine frowned, pulling Brooke into a tight hug. "No one expects you to know what to do right away, Brooke. You have time to figure that out, alright? And you know I'll be your roomie regardless what you choose, right?"

Brooke nodded slightly, sniffling. "I'm gonna get tears on your shirt."

Clementine laughed slightly, just pulling Brooke closer. "It's discount, anyway. And even if it weren't, you're way more important to me than Marc."

* * *

. 

"Well, Miss Davis, you're definitely pregnant."

Those were the words she'd been dreading. Brooke dragged her knees up to her chest as she stared at the campus doctor, open-mouthed. She didn't even know what to say. "Th-thanks," she mumbled, even though the news wasn't welcome.

The woman studied her through kind, bespectacled eyes. "I'm required by law to discuss your options with you and make sure you know there's a… clinic in Irvine."

"An abortion clinic?" Brooke assumed, her voice shaky at the idea. "I- I don't know."

"Is there anyone you want to contact? We don't have to have this conversation alone, Brooke. Parents? A boyfriend?"

Brooke shook her head, running her hand nervously through her hair. "No… I don't have either," she mumbled, swearing under her breath as she stared down at her stomach. "Uh, how long- do you know how long I've been pregnant?"

It was a dumb question; she knew the date of conception herself. She just wanted to hear the confirmation.

"Well, we'd have to do an ultrasound, but not very far. You still have plenty of time to make up your mind," the doctor misinterpreted, and even her kind smiles weren't much solace.

"I had sex about a month ago," Brooke responded candidly, biting her bottom lip. "Would that fit? I mean, it was the day before I came to school, so August 2nd."

The doctor paused, glancing down at her and nodding. "Yeah… that's most likely it. I still think you should make yourself an appointment with an OB/GYN and get an ultrasound, though. Have you considered what you want to do?"

Brooke gulped, glancing down at her hands. "It's all I think about," she admitted softly, not knowing what else to say. "It doesn't make the decision any easier, though, and it doesn't make me sure I'm doing the right thing."

The doctor nodded, sitting down opposite Brooke. "Do you have any feelings on abortion?" she asked after a minute.

Making a face, Brooke shrugged. "Not really. Like, I've always felt that it's a woman's right to choose, but not… I never pictured myself having to _make_ that choice, I guess. I always pictured myself with a husband and kids… but not at 18."

With a small smile, the doctor continued, "Well, obviously that's a choice. What about adoption?"

"Uh," Brooke started uncomfortably, squirming around in her seat. "I don't think I'd be able to do that. It's really noble and all for the mothers who can and want their kids to have a better life, but… yeah. I just don't think that's for me." She wasn't about to tell a woman she'd just met that she couldn't imagine abandoning her son or daughter the way her parents had done to her.

"Well… it sounds to me like you've already made your mind up, Miss Davis."

Brooke paused, cocking her head to the side as she studied the doctor. She hadn't thought of it that way, but maybe the doctor was right. Maybe she wasn't ready for this, but maybe she'd _have_ to be.


End file.
